acrimonious adj. Bitter in manner or temper.
bitter adj. 2. Caused by or showing mental pain; full of affliction or resentment; biting, harsh; piercingly cold.
caustic adj. Sarcastic, biting.
cynic n. One who is incredulous of human goodness.
jaded adj. Tired out, sated.
pessimist n. One who believes that this world is the worst possible, or that all things tend to evil.
resent v.t. Show or feel indignation at or retain bitter feelings (about, doing, insult or injury sustained).
surfeited adj. Feeling of satiety or disgust resulting from (an incident, person, or place).

The Stoneheart Club n. a loosely-knit group of people who display the attributes defined above.  

The Stoneheart Club was created in 1993, when the founding member went through a messy divorce. Shortly after, his best friend's husband left her for a younger woman. They both decided that marriage and relationships were something better left to less cynical people, and began to formulate a plan to set up a kind of club where cynical, bitter people could gather, meet, and discuss their respective views on life and the world around them.

Some months later, a young woman who had recently divorced her husband was invited to join The Stoneheart Club. In her hands, the club gained further recognition. She created T-Shirts, pins, and greeting cards, all in the name of cynicism, pessimism, and greed. More and more people began to recognise and understand the real significance of heart-shaped rocks and crystals.

Soon, more people began to join; people of all ages and all walks of life, who had grown tired and bitter. The Stoneheart Club was the perfect place for them to share their philosophies on life, health, relationships, and work. And so The Stoneheart Club was solidified into what it is today. Now, there are over 50 recognised members in Canada alone, as well as several part-time and permanent members in the United States and Australia. However, there are many more out there, as well as people who don't even realise that they are members.

The Stoneheart Club has no 'clubhouse' and no clearly defined rules. The only requirement for entrance is that you be bitter, cynical, and jaded. Pessimism is optional, but strongly recommended. If you display two or more of the above-defined qualities, chances are that you are a member of The Stoneheart Club.

You are welcome to start a chapter of The Stoneheart Club in your area. All we ask is that you email us and tell us where you live and how many members you have. The original Stoneheart Club can be reached at [email protected], or at [email protected]. We are vaguely interested in knowing how things are going for the cynical in a world where the divorce rate is high, but hope is still running rampant.

Thank you for visiting The Stoneheart Club's home page. Enlighten others. Tell them that they are not alone. But don't expect them to thank you, and remember that it's never worth it, in the end.