Who is this chick, anyway?
(if you still care...)

wow. i'm updating this page. (AGAIN, because i accidentally used "put" instead of "get" when i ftp'd the first one up (or is that, "get" instead of "put"....?), and wiped the one i'd worked so hard on, all afternoon. anyway, count your blessings that i'm rewriting all this junk. bah.) 's a once-in-a-lifetime (okay, TWICE in a lifetime) occurence, so be happy.

since titles are important, i've capitalised the one at the top of the page, but you will likely have noticed by now that i don't tend to capitalise my words. it's an affectation. part of bonnie. some people have compared me to e e cummings, but i don't know if he did it for the same reasons. personally, i think capital letters are pretentious. don't get me wrong; i can be as pretentious as the next musician, but i don't do it on a regular basis. be pretentious, that is.

so, what makes bonnie bonnie? well, a lot of things, actually. to begin with, i'm a Taoist. i'm also a bit random, very cynical, and a complete conundrum. i swear a little too much sometimes, but i'm really a terribly polite human being. sometimes i'm easily amused, but other times it takes a lot to make me laugh. i have a dark, dry sense of humour and a morbid interest in death. my 'heroes' are the marquis de sade, elizabeth I, and edgar allen poe.

actually, there are a lot of people that i admire, some dead, some still living. which is why there's a separate page for them all. some of them even have links. oOoOo.

oh, yeah. i heard that someone was actually offended by the fact that i named one of my heroes as the marquis de sade. i suppose that means that i should start handing out disclaimers. so, if anyone is offended by anything i say, OH WELL. deal with it. you can't live your life in someone else's shadow. i'm sure queen elisabeth would have approved.

hm? what? oh, my interests? well, if you've read this far, maybe you do care, after all. i read a lot. a lot. my favourite author is edward gorey (although neil gaiman is giving him a run for his money. gaiman is the author (?) or whatever of the fabulously amazing and intricate Sandman graphic novel (read: comic, but don't let that put you off). it's won at least one award, and it's simply amazing. actually, gaiman once collaborated with a guy named terry pratchett, and together they wrote a book called Good Omens, which is an excellent read, if you like dark humour and a little bit of irreverance. i don't recommend it for really fanatical religious types. you'll probably be offended. but for anyone else, especially those who aren't sure about the whole good vs. evil thing, you might get a kick out of it).

anyway, as i was saying, i read, and will pretty much read almost anything, including the backs of cereal boxes if i'm desperate. with the possible exception of westerns. i don't like westerns. but anything else is worth at least two tries. the other thing i'm not too keen on is romance novels (if we can give them the lofty title of "novels"). they're too cheezy.

i've been studying the french revolution for some time, now (seems like forever. i mean, how much can you really learn about a society who liked to chop the heads off aristocrats? not that i disapprove, or anything... in fact, i think it's a great idea. but i think it's time i stopped reading about it and maybe started on something else, like egyptian history). i like history, and you already know about my interest in death. dilbert is neat, and i'm always on the lookout for books and information dealing with the origin of fairytales.

(yes, i ramble. you may have noticed. actually, one of the advantages of being such a random person is the fact that i end up learning a great deal about all kinds of things. i tend to spend two or three months studying something in-depth, and then just fly to something else. sometimes i have a mind like a butterfly, jumping from subject to subject, and talking to me can be somewhat surreal. this is why one of my favourite books is a thesaurus. and if you let me loose in a library, i'm there for the day. the web is good for people like me. we move fast, and like to have the world at our fingertips.)

don't get me wrong. i'm not easily bored. well, maybe i am, but it's only because there's so little intelligence out there. maybe you've noticed this. i'm on a constant search for someone who is on my level. anyway, my jumping from interest to interest is more a result of the fact that i soak up everything i can on a subject until i drain it dry. then i go on to something else.

is there stuff that holds my interest?

like most people, i have two eyes, some hair, and a voice. and i sing almost constantly. my musicians of choice include rush, the doors, and sting. actually, there are many more, but those are the ones i listen to (and sing) over and over and over, annoying anyone within earshot. it's an okay voice. actually, it's more than okay, but i didn't want to appear vain.

i also sing a lot of folk and celtic music. i'm a bard in the Society for Creative Anachronism. my SCA name is Lady Jennifer Rose MacHeath, captain of the Megan of the Mists and associated vessels. i live in the shire of seagirt, in the kingdom of An Tir, although i'll soon be moving to Eoforwic, Canton of Septentria, which is situated in the Midrealm, or Middle Kingdom. i don't play as much as i used to, but at least i know that wherever i go, i'll always have an instant diversion.

i graduated from Greater Regional Technical College, which is (was? who knows, anymore) a local tech college in victoria. i now have a certificate in advance office support, which means that i know how to use several graphic programs, the microsoft office suite, novell netware, NT server, and every version of windows available. i could also manage to be a bookkeeper if i chose, but i really don't like accounting that much. numbers, yes. money, yes. accounting, no.

ah, yes. victoria. did i mention that i've moved to toronto? victoria's a pretty town, sure, but it's a tourist town, and i'm not fond of tourists. (and no, when i go abroad, i am not a tourist. i'm a traveller, which is very very different. tourists gawk and stare, wear inappropriate clothes, and walk at the speed of a tree sloth on vallium. i once considered moving to new orleans, but it's a tourist town, too, and i've learned my lesson.)

toronto is a big city with lots of nightlife, not a terribly high crime rate (if you believe statistics), and average weather (well, average for canada. if you take the warmest temperature in canada, and the coldest temperature in canada, add them, and divide by two, that's probably toronto's average temperature. and yes, we live in celcius up here).

in my spare time... what spare time? i'm too busy designing web pages (yes, i'm a geek), looking for work, and trying to keep my sense of humour so i don't go mad. life's pretty full, you know? but when i do get spare time, i write. i write vampire fiction, dark fantasy, and a little erotica. i even tried writing a hard-boiled detective novel, but it never got any further than the third chapter. i just finished writing the first draft of a high fantasy book that i started when i was twelve. i'll get the second draft finished eventually. i promise. maybe.

another thing i do is play (or code) on a couple of MUDs. that's Multi-User Dungeon. the one where i code (or pretend to code, but don't tell my sponsor that) is called Ancient Anguish. there are some really interesting people on AA, a few of whom i actually speak to on a regular basis. it's been an interesting little stint. critics say that MUD'ing is a waste of time, but in the past eight months, i've met more intelligent people on MUDs than i've met anywhere else in the last twenty-five years. (qualitatively speaking, my standards for intelligence are very high.)

i no longer play on MUDs, but the one where i used to play is called New Moon. it's still flexing its wings, so to speak, but it's not a bad place. in fact, it was there that i met ... well, his name isn't important. let's just call him my scholar, and be done with it. yes, this could just be a phase i'm going through (that's an inside joke, for those of you who are in the know), but he seems intelligent, sensible, and generally has his shit together. and at least he's not fourteen (that's another in-joke, for those of you who care). of course he was fourteen, at one point, but you can't have everything, can you?

i have a real life; i even have a friend or two. my real life consists of looking for work, doing laundry, and preparing for the move to toronto. i used to want to move to the US, but i think i prefer canada, to be perfectly honest (although boston is an amazing city, and if you're at all interested in architecture, this is the place to go).

real life involves a lot of reading for me, because i don't own a television, and wouldn't watch it if i had it. oh, there are a few good shows out there that i'd watch, like the x-files, the simpsons (i know; i sound positively ill, don't i?), and some stuff on a&e. oh, and south park, too (which is a wickedly funny little blurb of a show about four eight-year olds with filthy mouths. it's not for those who are easily offended, but if you have an off-beat sense of humour, take a look at it. it's a lot like twin peaks, though... you either love it, or you hate it. there's no middle ground). of course, the thing i miss the most is being able to rent a good movie.

because i'm a writer (and a voracious reader), i like the english language (or maybe i'm a writer because i like the language). actually, i like all kinds of languages. i speak french, and i can read and write latin. classical, not church latin. i can also read a little italian, obviously. once you know latin, all those romance languages kind of just fall into place. my ultimate goal is to learn hungarian and travel to budapest. someday.

anyway, that's bonnie, encapsulated. if you're curious to know more, you can email me at any one of my many email addresses, the most reliable of which is probably [email protected], or you can find me on Ancient Anguish as Velkyn, or New Moon as Velkyn. and yes, this page will be updated as i change my interests, my status, and my mind. (doesn't everyone say that? 'this page is under construction'? well, at least i didn't use that nauseatingly cute little 'under construction' graphic that's floating around out there.) if you can stand my sense of humour, my cynicism, and my general aura, or if you have any comments about this page, or its links, feel free to drop me a line. but i'll warn you: i've heard every line in the book.

(yes. some of the links are dead. i know. if it's a fortunecity link that you can't get to, just be patient, and i'll get around to putting it up at some point. if it's a different link, let me know, and i'll do another stint as 'bonnie-the-researcher', and try to point the link to somewhere that goes somewhere.)

credits // home // email bonnie

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thanks go to fortunecity, without whom, these pages would have been found at xoom.

find the secret link on this page and win absolutely nothing except the knowledge that you either have sharp eyes, incredible luck, or you cheated using the View Document Source menu item.